Silly parody
Dec. 9th, 2008 04:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
daibhidc Inspired by a recent thread on afp.
George Gammell Cleese: 'Scuse me, miss.
Wilbur Palin: Who are you calling miss?
Cleese: I wish to complain about a Great Old One what I attempted to summon with this book you sold me, not five hours ago.
Palin: Oh, yes. The Cthulhoid Unknown-Colour. Horrifying abomination. Sanity-threatening tentacles.
Cleese: The tentacles don't enter into it. It's dead.
Palin: That is not dead which can eternal lie, sir.
Cleese: Never mind the eternal lying. It's bleedin' demised.
Palin: Nah, it's just resting.
Cleese: Then I'll wake it up! HELLO, GREAT OLD ONE! IA! IA! FHTAGN! WAKEY WAKEY!
Palin: It's dreaming of sunken R'lyeh, sir.
Cleese: Dreaming of sunken R'lyeh? What kind of talk's that? Look, why did it slump to the ground when I summoned it?
Palin: The Cthulhoid Unknown-Colour prefers manifesting in that form, sir. Horrifying abomination. Sanity-threatening tentacles.
Cleese: Look, I took the liberty of examining this eldritch monstrosity, and I discovered that the only reason it surfaced when I chanted was that you pushed it.
Palin: I was holding it back. Otherwise it would have gone up to you, destroyed your mind with its unholy presence, and CHOMP!
Cleese: CHOMP? This creature wouldn't go CHOMP if you offered it a human sacrifice! It is no more. It has rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. With strange aeons, even it has died. This is an ex-cosmic horror.
Palin: Oh well, I'd better replace it then. Sorry, we're fresh out of Great Old Ones.
Cleese: I see. I get the picture.
Palin: I've got a slug.
Cleese: Can it destroy the world with it's all-powerful might?
Palin: Um, not really, no.
Cleese: THEN IT'S NOT MUCH OF A REPLACEMENT IS IT?
Palin: Go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton.
Cleese: (voice over) And so I went to Bolton. But even now I hear the dead Old One behind me and know that I can never make it. For neither Lovecraft nor the Pythons were any good at writing endings...
George Gammell Cleese: 'Scuse me, miss.
Wilbur Palin: Who are you calling miss?
Cleese: I wish to complain about a Great Old One what I attempted to summon with this book you sold me, not five hours ago.
Palin: Oh, yes. The Cthulhoid Unknown-Colour. Horrifying abomination. Sanity-threatening tentacles.
Cleese: The tentacles don't enter into it. It's dead.
Palin: That is not dead which can eternal lie, sir.
Cleese: Never mind the eternal lying. It's bleedin' demised.
Palin: Nah, it's just resting.
Cleese: Then I'll wake it up! HELLO, GREAT OLD ONE! IA! IA! FHTAGN! WAKEY WAKEY!
Palin: It's dreaming of sunken R'lyeh, sir.
Cleese: Dreaming of sunken R'lyeh? What kind of talk's that? Look, why did it slump to the ground when I summoned it?
Palin: The Cthulhoid Unknown-Colour prefers manifesting in that form, sir. Horrifying abomination. Sanity-threatening tentacles.
Cleese: Look, I took the liberty of examining this eldritch monstrosity, and I discovered that the only reason it surfaced when I chanted was that you pushed it.
Palin: I was holding it back. Otherwise it would have gone up to you, destroyed your mind with its unholy presence, and CHOMP!
Cleese: CHOMP? This creature wouldn't go CHOMP if you offered it a human sacrifice! It is no more. It has rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. With strange aeons, even it has died. This is an ex-cosmic horror.
Palin: Oh well, I'd better replace it then. Sorry, we're fresh out of Great Old Ones.
Cleese: I see. I get the picture.
Palin: I've got a slug.
Cleese: Can it destroy the world with it's all-powerful might?
Palin: Um, not really, no.
Cleese: THEN IT'S NOT MUCH OF A REPLACEMENT IS IT?
Palin: Go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton.
Cleese: (voice over) And so I went to Bolton. But even now I hear the dead Old One behind me and know that I can never make it. For neither Lovecraft nor the Pythons were any good at writing endings...
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no subject
Date: 2008-12-09 09:16 pm (UTC)Excellent stuff!
CCA
no subject
Date: 2008-12-10 03:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-10 08:25 am (UTC)Brilliant!