Doctor Who Girls

So, I've been thinking about Mitch Benn's song "Be My Doctor Who Girl", which it's fair to say is quite problematic (sample lyric "I'll do all the thinking/You'll look good in shorts and scream"). And to give him credit, Mitch knows that, and last year wrote a gender-flipped version, "Let Me Be Your Doctor Who Boy", where the singer wants to be the companion to a Doctor-like woman, rather than wanting his girlfriend to be the companion to his Doctor.

But in addition to being problematic, I never thought the song was a particularly accurate portrayal of companions, even if we limit it to the Tom Baker era, which is clearly what the song's mostly referring to. So, here's my attempt at a version that is more accurate and, hopefully, less problematic.
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