Doctor Who Girls

[daibhidc]

So, I've been thinking about Mitch Benn's song "Be My Doctor Who Girl", which it's fair to say is quite problematic (sample lyric "I'll do all the thinking/You'll look good in shorts and scream"). And to give him credit, Mitch knows that, and last year wrote a gender-flipped version, "Let Me Be Your Doctor Who Boy", where the singer wants to be the companion to a Doctor-like woman, rather than wanting his girlfriend to be the companion to his Doctor.

But in addition to being problematic, I never thought the song was a particularly accurate portrayal of companions, even if we limit it to the Tom Baker era, which is clearly what the song's mostly referring to. So, here's my attempt at a version that is more accurate and, hopefully, less problematic.

Ever since I can recall,
I've been watching Doctor Who,
And there's an image of the show,
Which I don't believe is true.
The companions that I saw,
Were smart and capable and brave.
They weren't just there to look pretty,
And give him somebody to save.

Yes, the writers often fell prey to 60s sexism,
But they were also aware of the second wave of feminism.

Be a Doctor Who girl,
Space Agent or mouth on legs,
Scientist or hist'ry teacher,
Be prepared to take me down some pegs.
Tell me I'm being stupid,
Don't let my arrogance unfurl.
Brave heart to face the dangers,
Be a Doctor Who girl.

Be a Doctor Who girl,
Treat my steering with scorn,
Hack the bad guys' computers,
Armed with Nitro-9 or Janis thorn.
Be an intrepid journo,
Bringing women's lib to far-off worlds,
Tell them there's nothing "only",
About being a Doctor Who girl.