Since I'm not doing The Muppet Guards! Guards!..

[daibhidc]

Fanfic Only The Casting Was Done For #2 That I Got Three Quarters Of The Way Through Before Realising It Was A Copyright Nightmare #1

STARRING
Kermit the Frog as Captain Sam Vimes
Miss Piggy as Lady Sybil Ramkin
Fozzie Bear as Sergeant Fred Colon
Pepe the King Prawn as Corporal Nobby Nobbs
Uncle Deadly as Lord Havelock Vetinari
and
Gonzo the Great as The Footnote

WITH SPECIAL GUEST STARS
Bradley James as Lance-Constable Carrot
and
Rowan Atkinson as Lupin Wonse

AND FEATURING

The Elucidated Bretheren of the Ebon Night
Polly Lobster as Brother Fingers
Clueless Morgan as Brother Plasterer
Old Tom as Brother Doorkeeper
Mad Monty as Brother Dunnykindiver
Walleye Pike as Brother Watchtower

The Civic Leaders
Dr Bunsen Honeydew as Dr Alembic Canaloupus, Archchancellor of Unseen University
Old Joe[1] as Urdo von Pew, Chairman of the Thieves' Guild
Johnny Fiama as Lord Giovanni Fiamosa, Master of the Assasins' Guild
Sam the Eagle as Mr Samuels, President of the Merchants' Guild

Others
Sal Manilla as the Librarian
Rizzo the Rat as CMOT Dibbler
Sweetums as the Gate Guard
Bobo the Bear as the Palace Guard
Statler and Waldorf as Mob Leaders
Clifford as Monster Hunter #1
Rowlf the Dog as Monster Hunter #2
Link Hogthrob as the False King
Bean Bunny as the Small Boy
The Electric Mayhem as the Street Party
Beauregard as the Bunting Carrier
Beaker as Beaker Stibbons, Dr Canaloupus's assistant
Scooter as Scooter Drumknott, senior clerk

and The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come as Death

[1]The spider fence from Muppet Christmas Carol.