AU Writing Meme results

[daibhidc]

Well, some of these got a bit away from me. One of them ended up a double drabble…

(Feel free to suggest some more; this was fun.)

Agnes Nitt (forjohn_amend_all)

Wild West

Things were tense at the Last Drum Saloon. Two men had gotten into an argument over a poker game, and were now reaching for their guns. Other patrons were scattering for cover. Oddly, while the pianist had abandoned his post, the singer remained on stage.

Before either man could fire, a high pitched noise drilled into both their brains and knocked them unconscious.

Deputy André, who’d been on the point of getting between the disputants, instead wandered over to the saloon’s stage. “I’ll never get used to that trick, Agnes,” he murmured, “What do you call it, higher C?”

The singer, who apparently hadn’t skipped a note in her rendition of “Octarine River Valley”, just smiled.


Cyberpunk

The worst part of having to return to the street surgeons at W-wax + Ogg, after leaving to join Bucket Holotainment (a wholly owned subsidiary of Bucket Synthispreads), was listening to the “I told you so”s.

“Never trust a megacorp,” Esme said, “An experimental implant that gives you a perfect singing voice? ’Course there was a catch.”

“Okay, okay,” said Agnes, “But can you get the PERDITA chip out of my brain before it takes over again?”


Shapeshifters

The coven meeting had been going for ten minutes before the final member showed up.

“Sorry I’m late,” said Agnes, still adjusting her clothing, including the Black Ribbon she’d worn ever since her final encounter with Vlad de Magpyr.

“Usual problem?” Nanny asked.

“Yes. The bats controlled by Perdita insist that they know the way better than the rest do, and keep going off on their own.”


Pirates

Agnes and her friends had been talking in the tavern about the dashing masked pirate known only as the Ghost. She certainly hadn’t been expecting to get abducted by him the very next day.

And why would you? Perdita asked, The only explanation is that he mistook us for Christine. And the only explanation for that is that his mask doesn’t have eyeholes.

Agnes sighed. Still, she and Perdita were in agreement on one thing. However romantic her other half might have found being abducted by pirates in theory, they were both clear that the next time the cabin door opened, someone was getting a chair to the head.


...In SPACE!!

“I still don’t understand how you escaped,” said Magrat, when they rendezvoused on the planet’s surface. “Not with four Magpie-class fighters heading straight towards you.”

“Simple hypersonics. Sent it straight through the ship’s emitter dish, and it knocked out all their engines.”

Magrat looked puzzled. “But in space, no-one can…”

“They can when I do it,” said Agnes firmly.


Born Another Gender

Perdito di Sogno, born Arthur Nitt, was widely regarded as the finest tenor, baritone and bass the Ankh-Morpork Opera House ever produced, particularly acclaimed for the title role of Il Truccatore. Nevertheless, he sometimes wondered if there was something missing from his life. Usually when he attended banquets at Unseen University, but even more strongly on the rare occasions when a broomstick flew overhead.


Schoolfic

The parts for the Lancre Comprehensive production of My Fair Lady had been posted on the noticeboard. They were proving somewhat controversial.

“Mrs Pearce?” said Agnes, “The housekeeper? I didn’t even audition to play Mrs Pearce!”

“No-one did,” explained André, who as head of the school drama group had been involved in the auditions. “So Mr Salzella chose you as ‘most suited to the role’. It’s totally unfair, I know. You did a fantastic audition as Eliza.”

“But she doesn’t really look like Eliza, does she?” said Christine, who had of course got the part, and seemed completely unaware that her comment was in any way tactless.

André glared at Christine, who didn’t notice, and then turned back to Agnes. “If I were you, I wouldn’t take it. You deserve to be Eliza, whatever Salzella thinks.”

Agnes shrugged. “Anything’s better than spending lunch hour with Lucy Tockley and her mates.”


Police/Firefighters

“Another new recruit?” Vimes asked.

“Yes, sir,” said Carrot, “Cheery said they needed more medical expertise in the forensics team, and I also thought we could use someone with magical experience.”

“So two new recruits. A doctor and a wizard.”

“No, sir. One new recruit. Lance-Constable Agnes Nitt. She’s a witch.”

Vimes thought about that for a moment. “Well, she’ll probably be more practical than a wizard or even a doctor. They’ve got a lot of common sense, witches. Too much to become a copper, I’d have thought.”

“Well, sir, I get the impression she’s rather sweet on young André. From the Cable Street Particulars?”

“Fine, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of the job.”


Urban Fantasy
(SPOILERS for Rivers of London)

The chaos Mr Punch unleashed in Covent Garden was horrific. But it could have been worse.

Much later Peter Grant would learn that a young singer in the opera company had somehow shielded the people near her with the power of her voice. He filed that under “Things to look into when there isn’t a crisis”, and of course never got round to it.


Steampunk

“You have to choose,” Professor Weatherwax had always said. “You can be the star of the Paris Opera, or you can study the etheric sciences. You can’t do both.”

Well, the machine Agnes had built would show her. It would show them all! She stepped into the glass booth, and her assistant, who had grave doubts about this, reluctantly pulled the knife-switch. Green and purple lightning sparked around the booth, and its duplicate on the other side of the machine.

Agnes stepped out of the booth. And also stepped out of the other booth.

“Success!” the first Agnes laughed. “Now I can remain at the opera, while you continue my studies for me!”

“I think that’s something we should negotiate,” said Perdita.


Black Widow (for vatine)
(I was really struggling with making them Tom Sawyer crossovers, and I just gave up. Sorry. Some are alternate comicverse, some are alternate movieverse, depending on what I had an idea for)

Wild West

If the cowboy hadn’t been quite so drunk, it might have occurred to him there was a reason everyone in the saloon was giving the woman in black a wide berth.

“Howdy, sweetheart,” he slurred, “And what do they call you?”

The woman looked up. “They call me the Widow. You have three seconds to avoid finding out why.”

Edwin the bartender called over a young boy. “Ricky, run and get Sheriff Rogers,” he said, “Tell him,” he paused to wince at the sounds coming from the other end of the bar, “Tell him he’s going to have to clean up after Natasha again.”


Cyberpunk

Blackwidow is the streetname of the deadliest street samurai this side of the Edge. The product of an intense bio-engineering program in the Former Russian Federation, the only reason there isn’t a string of people describing how she defeated them is that they’re all dead.

At least, that’s what she wants people to think. Working as an infotech for Shieldcorp is much easier that way.


Shapeshifters

The walls of the oubliette Baron Strucker had dropped her in were too steep and smooth for a human to climb up, no matter how skilled. Luckily, HYDRA still thought of her as being human.

Pausing from her constant cursing of the scientist who’d added DNA manipulation to the Black Widow program to briefly thank him, Natasha began scuttling up the wall on eight legs.


Pirates

Captain Romanov gathered the crew of the Widow’s Bite on the main deck. “This is a great day, my friends. Today we raid the Maria Stark, and finally get our revenge!”

She hesitated over the next part, since she wasn’t sure how the crew would react. “But remember, Captain Rhodes and his crew are not those who wronged us! They will defend their master’s ill-gotten gains, and undoubtedly some of them will do so unto death, but they do not deserve to die if it can be avoided!”

The crew, to her surprise, cheered this. Maybe she could get her revenge without getting too much more red on her ledger.


...In SPACE!!

She’d thought it would take some getting used to, but it turned out fighting space pirates and star empires was just like fighting criminals and terrorist organisations. Her new team wasn’t exactly the Avengers, but they were good people, and their mechanic had done an excellent job of improving her tasers to work in the new environment. Even if he was a talking raccoon.


Born Another Gender

“Can you tell me why I’m here, Comrade?” asked Niall. He was aware of the rumours that this building was where the KGB trained its mythical Black Widow agents. But even if that were true, it obviously couldn’t be why they’d summoned him.

“You are aware, Comrade Romanov, that the Americans have a new Captain America? Or, according to their propaganda, the original, returned once more? As if we don’t know that the last time Captain America returned, it was some poor soul they’d brainwashed to become an anti-communist fanatic!”

“I’ve heard something of this,” Niall said cautiously.

“Romanov, the Kremlin feels we need our own super-solider. A hero who proudly wears our colours. And we want you to take this role.”

“Then I accept, Comrade.” A thought struck him, “Do I get a codename?”

“Of course. From now on, Niall Romanov, you are … the Red Guardian.”


Schoolfic

Natasha keeps apart from the other students. She doesn’t have any afterschool activities except her dance class and her self-defence class, and her guardian, Ivan, takes her there and brings her straight back. She doesn’t even really interact with the other students there.

Matt, who also feels like something of an outsider due to his blindness, has made an effort to be friends with her. But as a member of the debate team, he’s often busy during breaks.

They’ve bonded, however, over one thing: A shared belief that Tony Stark - head boy, head of the computing team, high school hustler, the guy who reported Nat for being out of bounds, and the guy who sold Matt a text-to-speech app he didn’t want and which doesn’t work – is probably the worst person in the entire world.


Police/Firefighters

“Look, Romanov, I don’t know how they do things in Russia…”

“And neither do I, because I’ve never served in the police in Russia,” Detective Natasha Romanov muttered for the fifth time.

“…but in this city, we need evidence. Now if you can show me that Nefaria is connected to the Maggia, we can talk.” The door to the captain’s office slammed behind him.

“Don’t let Captain Fury get to you,” advised her partner, Detective Banner, “I’ve got some anger management techniques I could share with you.”


Urban Fantasy

The Mistress of the Copper Mountain had come to America after the Ural mines were closed. She joined the wizard Furioso’s Sorcerous and Elemental Administration League, fighting the evil spirits unleashed by World War II. On Furioso’s orders, she had attempted to stop the maverick technomancer Tony Stark from creating his cold-iron armour, now she worked alongside him in a new group led by the reborn spirit of Uncle Sam. And she had found love with an introverted wizard who contained a demon within him through sheer force of will.

She reminded herself of all this as the red-clad witch attempted to get inside her head. It didn’t stop her feeling like she was just a mine spirit again.


Steampunk

“So this is the Black Widow, formerly an agent of the Tsar, now one of Those Who Avenge? I must say, I’m disappointed.” The HYDRA officer, in his green-dyed leathers and pickelhaub, shook his head.

Natasha looked at him evenly, “Then it’s my good fortune, sir, that I had no desire to impress you.”

“I mean, really, a woman in Those Who Avenge? And not even one with any special abilities, such as that monstrous Mr Hulk or Donar. Anthony Stark has his engine-suit, the Captain has his shield, even Barton has that ridiculous Red Indian weapon. And you? You’re carrying a parasol for heaven’s sa… urk!”

Natasha lowered the parasol. “Well, Mr Stark was unable to make the galvanic battery any smaller,” she told the unconscious figure.


MCU Captain America and SW:TFA Rey (for silly_swordsman)

Wild West
(SPOILERS for The Force Awakens)

“I heard you took having a star seriously, Marshal Rogers.”

“I do, Miss Rey.”

“Well, ain’t you going after Solo’s son? He shot his pa and disappeared into the badlands. I’d be after him myself if I wasn’t being held here.”

“Deputy Barnes is taking care of that. In the meantime, I have to talk to you about smuggling.”

“This again? I just took a lift in Solo’s wagon when he passed through my home town. I wasn’t even with him when he crossed the Mexican border, and I’d no idea what he was carrying.”

Rogers sighed. “I believe you. But Judge Fury won’t, not without evidence. And Solo’s not around to support your story. It’s too bad his injun guide don’t speak English.”


Cyberpunk

“Mz. Rey? I was told you were a rigger?”

She looked up. “Sure, I can drive just about anything. But doesn’t the gunmint have its own vehicle operators?”

The man who’d addressed her looked surprised, “What makes you say I’m gunmint?”

“Anyone around here as clean-shaven and stiff as you is either gunmint or corp, and you look too stiff to be corp. Besides, a corpsman would have bodyguards. You’re your own bodyguard. Some kind of military implants and training, right?”

The man nodded. “I was also told you had a sense for things. That’ll also be useful if you take my commission.”

“A commission? You’re not just press-ganging me?”

He shook his head. “You’re right I’m gunmint, but right now I’m trying to find out what’s going on behind the gunmint. This is not an authorised mission.”

Rey considered a moment. “Okay, I’m in. You got a name?”

“Maybe you should just call me ‘Captain’.”

“Subtle.”


Shapeshifters

“I still don’t know exactly what happened to you,” said Rey, “but I’m sure Maz Katana will know what to do. So there’s no sense in getting worked up about it, okay?”

The bald eagle perched opposite her looked like it would really have liked to reply to that.


Pirates

“Ahoy the Falcon!” called Captain Rogers, “Stand down and prepare to be boarded!”

On the ship he was addressing, Captain Rey spun the wheel, “We’ll take them broadside!” she cried, “It’s the last thing they’ll expect!”

“Aye,” agreed her first mate, Mr Finn, “And it’s the last thing they’ll expect because it’s suicide! That’s the HMS America, not some privateer that will back down if we look like we might do more damage than the reward money would cover!”

“We don’t give up without a fight!” Rey retorted.

“This is your final warning!” called Rogers.

Finn shook his head. “Heaven preserve us from heroes,” he muttered, “Whatever side they’re on.”


...In SPACE!!

Rey was surrounded by Stormtroopers. Kylo Ren had got away. Finn was injured.

And then the X-Wings showed up. Leading them was the ship of her old friend Captain Republic, with the distinctive five-pointed stars on its wings. One of these days she had to ask him what that symbol meant.


Born Another Gender

They had worked together for a long time, trying to get Miss America back to her home universe. Eventually they discovered the machine that, along with Rey’s Jedi powers, would create a portal.

Steph Rogers hesitated. “You know, I really want to get back to New York, and the Avengers. But there’s one thing about your galaxy I’ll miss, Rey.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

Steph smiled. “No-one treated me any differently than they did you.”


Schoolfic

“Hey, Steve!”

“Oh, hi, Rey,” said Steve, “You here for the big game?”

“Sure, we’re going to kick your asses!”

Steve laughed. Neither of them took the rivalry between Shield Academy and Lucas High School very seriously.

“So,” Rey said, “I guess I’m going to the visitor’s seats. Where are you sitting?”

“Oh, I volunteered to be the water boy. You know me, I like to be involved.”

Rey smiled sympathetically. She knew Steve really wanted to be Shield Academy’s star quarterback, but unless he found a way of bulking up drastically, it was never going to happen.


Police/Firefighters

One of the things you have to do as a police officer is maintain contacts on the street. One of Lieutenant Rogers’ contacts was a lot more on the street than he’d have liked.

Her name was Rey. She didn’t have a surname that she knew of. She spent a lot of time hanging around the junkyard, occasionally scavenging things. She seemed to have a bit of a technical bent, but she’d never get to apply it.

He’d suggested that she’d be better off if she went to community college, found a proper place to live. She’d said she couldn’t. That one day her family would return and this was where they’d expect to find her. Anyway, she was more use to him here, wasn’t she?

He’d tried to trace her family, but with no success. She’d laughed when he told her that, calling him her All-American hero.


Urban Fantasy

Cap had found the young woman behind a battered storefront in the East Village with a sign saying CURIOS. He privately considered that most of what she was selling was junk, but maybe that was just what he was supposed to think.

“Look,” he said, “I’ve had enough experience to know there are things I can’t explain. I work with a Norse god, for Pete’s sake. And I was told that you had … expertise … in, ah, certain subjects...”

Rey laughed, “You mean magic?”

“If that’s what you want to call it, sure.”

“Actually, I call it the force. My teacher called it fortis, but I found the Latin a bit pretentious. But sure, I’m not one to step down if Captain America wants my help.”

“Great. I’m trying to find a … sorcerer, I guess … called Kylo Ren.”

Rey’s face darkened “I know the name. And I’ll definitely help you find him.”

“Great. Will you need any of your, uh, magical items?”

Rey laughed again. “Magical items? This is just junk!”

“Oh.”

“I mean,” she added, picking up an opaque sphere with orange markings, “apart from my crystal ball, obviously.”

He wasn’t even sure she was kidding.


Steampunk

Two motorised velocipedes were parked outside the old house. One rust-red, the other in the colours of the American flag.

“The basements won’t have gas lighting, assuming the gas is even still on,” said the Captain, lighting a lantern, “Are you sure what you’re looking for is down there?”

“Captain, I’m not even sure what I’m looking for. I just know it’s here.”

Captain Steven Rogers nodded. He’d only known Miss Rey for a few days, but he trusted her intuition.

They arrived at a locked door and Captain Rogers used his harbenite shield to batter down the lock. Behind it was a dusty storeroom. Miss Rey quickly found what she’s been searching for; what appeared to be a brass sword hilt, covered in diodes, and with a length of rubber-coated wire leading to a belt-mounted power source.

“It’s an electro-sword,” the Captain said.

“No, it’s the electro-sword. The one created by Sir Anthony Starbound, and then used against him by his son Lucas after Sir Anthony joined the Imperalists.”

“Well, I cannot think of anyone better suited to wield it than you, Miss Rey.”

“Really? I’m not so sure.”