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Discworld Convention 2024
For various reasons, I never wrote this up in 2022, the first year I was there on my own, and also the first one I'd been to since we lost Terry. So I'm trying to get back into the habit now. (I may even go back and do a "Things I Learned at the Science Festival" post, if I can remember anything I learned at the Science Festival this year. Anyway.)
The travel plan Mum worked out way back when DWCon started being held at the Metropole (overnight train to Euston, a few hours in London, then another train up to Birrmingham) continues to be basically sound. In 2022, I discovered that the comics shop I went to when I was down for Muppets Take the O2 never reopened after lockdown, so I browsed Waterstones Picadilly instead. I also popped into the big Boots following the sudden realisation I'd forgotten to either take a Covid test before I left or pack one. It came up fine, and I got another one to use on Sunday.
I got the connection in plenty of time ... and then I got off at Birmingham New Street and thought "Well, that's not right." Checked my ticket -- it said New Street. So I got an anyday return to Birmingham International ... and only later realised that the train goes through both and I could have just got a single. But that ended up working out, kind of.
(Still an improvement on last time, where rail strikes meant I was unexpectedly staying in London overnight.)
So, made my way through the NEC, as always forgetting that there's a security check when it's active, checked in, found my room with only moderate difficulty, and registered. I had a King Room, because that was all that was available when I booked, and it was ... nice. Defintiely bigger than the one I had last year, and it came with a sofa (which I never used), a bath (I prefer showers, and the one time I thought "Maybe soaking my joints would be good" I didn't have time) and a pass to an exclusive lounge (which I nearly used once).
With that all sorted, I just managed to catch the tail-end of "We Need to Ptalk About Ptraci", which was very interesting (and hovered in the doorway because there was no space, in exactly the way a subsequent message on the convention app would tell us not to, oops!) Then a talk about "Roundworld History & Folklore" from the Truth Will Make Ye Fret podcast, which looked into all the references to real beliefs on the Disc, and the rabbit holes you can find yourself going down with them. I meant to ask about my longstanding Question About Treacle Mines, but didn't[1].
Then the Opening Ceremony which was brilliant. The theme of this year's convention was the Chalk and the Wee Free Men, so there was much Feegling, and a cuddly sheep, which added "Baa!" to the repertoire of things a DWCon crowd will shout out at the slightest provocation. (It's tradition.) ("TRADITION!")
I'd decided that one of my priorities this year was Giving Myself Time For Meals. This did not happen, but at least this once I made a point of heading to the lobby bar and ordering a vegeburger. I'd forgotten you need a table before you order, but the one just opposite was free. And while I was ordering, it wasn't. I was just about to panic about this when a passing gopher checked if it was okay for me to join the group. Which is how someone who spends far too much of the Cons not wanting to bother people found myself in something approximating conversation with Pat Harkin! It was a good conversation (even if I didn't contribute to it much) and a good burger, and then I mistakenly thought I was running late for "The Magic of Terry Practchett". When I found out I wasn't, I went to my room and spent some time unwinding from having Done A Socialisation.
I'd seen Marc Burrows' "Magic of Terry Pratchett" show at the Fringe last year, but it was still brilliant. My favourite bit is where he describes the effort he went to to find the exact story Terry was referring to when he said he saw a dead body on his first day at the Bucks Free Press, seemingly shows the very story, then admits it's a fake and he couldn't find it at all, because it probably wasn't actually his first day - that's just a better story.
[1]Since you ask... The Folklore of Discworld says that treacle mines have their origin -- like Lewis Carrol's treacle well -- in a popular hoax/joke in the South of England, basically their equivalent of hunting wild haggises that run around mountains clockwise. It doesn't mention any deeper meaning. Myths, Martyrs and Maypoles, a book I got in the nineties and love, but which I occasionally find questionable, points out that "treacle" originally meant "medicine" (this is true) and suggests that therefore Oxford's "treacle wells" were originally healing wells, a claim that makes sense, but which I have seen literally nowhere else. (Yes, it's mentioned on the Wikipedia page for Treacle mining, but 1) It cites that very book and 2) I think I may have added it myself.)
Saturday started with a big convention breakfast (I used to have my usual tea and Weetabix on the first day, then build up to these, now I'm loading a plate with two different eggs and vegetarian sausages from the start). Then I went to the second heat of Unseen University Challenge. One of the teams never showed up, and another was a person short, so they called for volunteers. I very nearly did. But then I didn't. The second of the two matches was incredibly close (I think it went to a tiebreaker, or maybe that was the final). Grabbed a sandwich from Gild to Go for lunch, then went to "Podcasting thee Dysc", a live recording of The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret and the second live podcast event I've ever been to (the first was House to Astonish Live back in .... gosh, 2014.) An interesting discussion of the Tiffany books, and also Science of Discworld because Ian Stewart was there as a guest.
I can't remember if I noticed "Create a Discworld RPG Character" and "The Big Lego Reveal" were half over at this point and decided against trying to get in late, but in any event, what I did was have a look round the dealers' room, get a cup of tea, and wait for the Guest Interview En Masse. Which was great, especially the moment when Colin Smythe was asked how he got into Discworld. Although Ian Stewart's answer was, inevitably, rehashing the same story he told in the podcast event.
And then ... and then I made the mistake of having a Plan. The Plan was that I would go to the new (well, new to me, since I missed it last time) Resorts World shopping centre, see what their dinner options were, and then head back in plenty of time for the Maskerade. I don't remember if I thought I could somehow be back in time for the neurodiversity talk in half an hour or if I just forgot about it. But missing it through a combination of poor timekeeping and a stubborn insistence on sticking to the Plan seems pretty ironic. And it turned out there wasn't anywhere there I fancied for dinner, so I got a bag of M&Ms and a Coke from a vending machine to keep me going and headed back. By this time, it was getting pretty close to the Maskerade. I remembered that the Executive Lounge I had the right to visit offered evening snacks, but I was getting a bit lightheaded and couldn't find it. I eventually got a halloumi pita from the kebab van and ate it in the queueue. (And apologies to the hotel staff -- I did try to clean up the mess as I went.)
The Maskerade was brilliant. The winner (a Jenny Greenteeth who sang a vicious pastiche of "Part of Your World") was well-deserved but all of them were fantastic. Unfortunately, I didn't take photos during the event because years ago I had a phone (or possible an actual camera) where the flash kept resetting when I switched it off for this stuff, and I've tended to paranoia about this ever since. And I didn't take photos after the event because I'd gone from lightheaded to positively loopy, so I headed back to my room and collapsed. So, as usual apologies to everyone I didn't see at the Hedgehog Party. One of these times I'll pace myself properly for it!
So you'd think that, having gone a bit weird from not enough food and too much walking, I slept in, had another big breakfast, and didn't exert myself too much. Oh, no. I had another Plan. And this one involved geting up early, and having orange juice and toast because anything more would give me indigestion when I did even more walking. This Plan was threefold 1) Discover if it's possible to walk around the NEC and thereby avoid having to open all your cases at Checkpoint Charlie. 2) Use my anytime return to go to Worlds Apart, a short distance from New Street station, and get a single back. 3) Be back in time for the Ankh-Morpork Mappe talk at 11:00. Results were ... mixed.
The answer to the first question turned out to be "Yes, but don't." It took ages and took me through several loading bays and other areas where I felt like I was trespassing even if I wasn't, and at least one where I'm almost certain I was. I was still walking when I got a notification that the Mappe talk was cancelled, and then another one that it was rescheduled for the afternoon,which I was fairly sure I'd be back for at this point. But eventually I managed to reach the station, and I got to New Street around 10:30, having completely burned off my early start with this nonsense. And then I walked to Worlds Apart.
Look, I'm not a complete idiot. I didn't set out on this quest without checking they were open on Sundays. What I hadn't checked was when they were open on Sundays. I ended up wandering around the Bullring for half an hour - the map showed a Foyles but I never found it. Then again, I had enough trouble finding the New Street exit, which was the same way I came in. But I got to Worlds Apart eventually and I bought some comics and I managed to get back to the hotel, yay!
I missed the charity auction, which was a shame, but probably just as well in some ways (did I mention I'd ended up paying for a King Room?) I did make it to the Mapp event, which was very interesting, even if the venue (the only event I went to in that room) gave me a keen insight into what the people who'd arrived on Thursday had experienced before the AC was fixed.
I also made it to The Correct Order to Read Discworld, which was supposed to be a panel but turned out to just be Diane Duane and Peter Morwood, who did a great job of running it just by themselves (the answer was "Whatever way makes sense for you, personally"); the Ian Stewart lecture, always one of my not-to-miss events, which was about infintesimals, tying into the theme on the basis that "you can't get wee-er than that", and by giving various eminent historical mathematicians speech bubbles saying "Crivvens!" and other Feeglisms; and the Stephen Briggs talk, where he discussed how he got involved in Discworld am-dram, the books he still hadn't adapted, and why not.
At some point during all that it registered that I hadn't had lunch, and probably wasn't going to.
I did have dinner, getting a pizza at the lobby bar (and claiming a table in advance this time!) and then I wandered over to the Feegle Cèilidh, which was this year's term for "the slightly chaotic thing that's happening to entertain everyone who isn't at the Gala Dinner". There was an actual cèilidh band, in costume as Feegles and witches, and they had clearly had a lot of fun Discifying their tunes, including Igor's Polka, the Iron Girder, and concluding with the Gay Gonnagles, to a tune that combined Steeleye's "Wee Free Men" with "Mairi's Wedding". I didn't join the dancing but did manage to Do A Socialisation again. The Feegle Highland Games that followed, including the Sheep Putt, Throwing the Kebab, and so on, also looked fun, but I needed sleep.
Woke, did all my packing, had breakfast (Weetabix and then veggie sausage and eggs and hash browns and stuff this time!) and went to the Opera Gala, which was fantastic. Multiple Discworld pastiches of various arias, some of which even I recognised. Then I went to a talk about how to build a fantasy world, which was fascinating, and had another sandwich for lunch before the Unseen University Challenge Final. The final was very close; if it wasn't the one that had a tiebreaker, it definitely came down to a five or ten point difference, and was followed by the winners playing the Committee, which wasn't that close; the champions remained undefeated.
The closing ceremony was good; the prize-giving occurred, there was a final cheer for all the Committee, the Chair was horrified to discover she was expected to do this again next time, and so on. I then went and collected my bags from the bag storage area, explaining that I had put my ticket in the little folder with my keycard for safekeeping, and then almost immediately forgotten I'd done that and dropped it in the self-checkout. They were very nice about it.
Walked through the NEC, which after all that fuss yesterday didn't even have anyone on checkpoint duty now that the quilters had gone home, arrived at the station and suddenly realised that, in my concern not to be late for my train, I was well over an hour early for it. Okay, fine, I can get something to eat. Sandwich from Subway, decaf caramel frappe from Starbucks, settle down with my book for a bit. With less than half an hour to go, I checked what platform I should be at, and suddenly realised that, since my ticket said New Street (remember that?) the time on it was wrong. Probably about ten minutes wrong, but I wasn't sure. I managed to ask someone, and got that all sorted, and did in fact, make it to the train.
For some reason, when I was planning, I thought 20 minutes between the trains would be more than enough time to make it from one end of Euston to the other before the Caledonian Sleeper expected everyone to be berthed. It was barely enough, especially after I ran the length of the train to reach the seated coaches. My seat seemed to be occupied by one of a group of people speaking German, but I just assumed that they'd booked the single seat opposite and then realised they weren't seated together, so I claimed that one. The ticket inspector asked me if we'd swapped seats, and I agreed we had without mentioning we hadn't actually discussed it in any way.
And that was basically it, apart from realising at around midnight that a Subway sandwich at 6pm was not going to keep me going all night, and I couldn't sleep if I was hungry, so I rang for a pizza and a hot chocolate. A great weekend, all in all, but I really need to keep better track of meals, and stop inventing reasons to exhaust myself unnecessarily.
The travel plan Mum worked out way back when DWCon started being held at the Metropole (overnight train to Euston, a few hours in London, then another train up to Birrmingham) continues to be basically sound. In 2022, I discovered that the comics shop I went to when I was down for Muppets Take the O2 never reopened after lockdown, so I browsed Waterstones Picadilly instead. I also popped into the big Boots following the sudden realisation I'd forgotten to either take a Covid test before I left or pack one. It came up fine, and I got another one to use on Sunday.
I got the connection in plenty of time ... and then I got off at Birmingham New Street and thought "Well, that's not right." Checked my ticket -- it said New Street. So I got an anyday return to Birmingham International ... and only later realised that the train goes through both and I could have just got a single. But that ended up working out, kind of.
(Still an improvement on last time, where rail strikes meant I was unexpectedly staying in London overnight.)
So, made my way through the NEC, as always forgetting that there's a security check when it's active, checked in, found my room with only moderate difficulty, and registered. I had a King Room, because that was all that was available when I booked, and it was ... nice. Defintiely bigger than the one I had last year, and it came with a sofa (which I never used), a bath (I prefer showers, and the one time I thought "Maybe soaking my joints would be good" I didn't have time) and a pass to an exclusive lounge (which I nearly used once).
With that all sorted, I just managed to catch the tail-end of "We Need to Ptalk About Ptraci", which was very interesting (and hovered in the doorway because there was no space, in exactly the way a subsequent message on the convention app would tell us not to, oops!) Then a talk about "Roundworld History & Folklore" from the Truth Will Make Ye Fret podcast, which looked into all the references to real beliefs on the Disc, and the rabbit holes you can find yourself going down with them. I meant to ask about my longstanding Question About Treacle Mines, but didn't[1].
Then the Opening Ceremony which was brilliant. The theme of this year's convention was the Chalk and the Wee Free Men, so there was much Feegling, and a cuddly sheep, which added "Baa!" to the repertoire of things a DWCon crowd will shout out at the slightest provocation. (It's tradition.) ("TRADITION!")
I'd decided that one of my priorities this year was Giving Myself Time For Meals. This did not happen, but at least this once I made a point of heading to the lobby bar and ordering a vegeburger. I'd forgotten you need a table before you order, but the one just opposite was free. And while I was ordering, it wasn't. I was just about to panic about this when a passing gopher checked if it was okay for me to join the group. Which is how someone who spends far too much of the Cons not wanting to bother people found myself in something approximating conversation with Pat Harkin! It was a good conversation (even if I didn't contribute to it much) and a good burger, and then I mistakenly thought I was running late for "The Magic of Terry Practchett". When I found out I wasn't, I went to my room and spent some time unwinding from having Done A Socialisation.
I'd seen Marc Burrows' "Magic of Terry Pratchett" show at the Fringe last year, but it was still brilliant. My favourite bit is where he describes the effort he went to to find the exact story Terry was referring to when he said he saw a dead body on his first day at the Bucks Free Press, seemingly shows the very story, then admits it's a fake and he couldn't find it at all, because it probably wasn't actually his first day - that's just a better story.
[1]Since you ask... The Folklore of Discworld says that treacle mines have their origin -- like Lewis Carrol's treacle well -- in a popular hoax/joke in the South of England, basically their equivalent of hunting wild haggises that run around mountains clockwise. It doesn't mention any deeper meaning. Myths, Martyrs and Maypoles, a book I got in the nineties and love, but which I occasionally find questionable, points out that "treacle" originally meant "medicine" (this is true) and suggests that therefore Oxford's "treacle wells" were originally healing wells, a claim that makes sense, but which I have seen literally nowhere else. (Yes, it's mentioned on the Wikipedia page for Treacle mining, but 1) It cites that very book and 2) I think I may have added it myself.)
Saturday started with a big convention breakfast (I used to have my usual tea and Weetabix on the first day, then build up to these, now I'm loading a plate with two different eggs and vegetarian sausages from the start). Then I went to the second heat of Unseen University Challenge. One of the teams never showed up, and another was a person short, so they called for volunteers. I very nearly did. But then I didn't. The second of the two matches was incredibly close (I think it went to a tiebreaker, or maybe that was the final). Grabbed a sandwich from Gild to Go for lunch, then went to "Podcasting thee Dysc", a live recording of The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret and the second live podcast event I've ever been to (the first was House to Astonish Live back in .... gosh, 2014.) An interesting discussion of the Tiffany books, and also Science of Discworld because Ian Stewart was there as a guest.
I can't remember if I noticed "Create a Discworld RPG Character" and "The Big Lego Reveal" were half over at this point and decided against trying to get in late, but in any event, what I did was have a look round the dealers' room, get a cup of tea, and wait for the Guest Interview En Masse. Which was great, especially the moment when Colin Smythe was asked how he got into Discworld. Although Ian Stewart's answer was, inevitably, rehashing the same story he told in the podcast event.
And then ... and then I made the mistake of having a Plan. The Plan was that I would go to the new (well, new to me, since I missed it last time) Resorts World shopping centre, see what their dinner options were, and then head back in plenty of time for the Maskerade. I don't remember if I thought I could somehow be back in time for the neurodiversity talk in half an hour or if I just forgot about it. But missing it through a combination of poor timekeeping and a stubborn insistence on sticking to the Plan seems pretty ironic. And it turned out there wasn't anywhere there I fancied for dinner, so I got a bag of M&Ms and a Coke from a vending machine to keep me going and headed back. By this time, it was getting pretty close to the Maskerade. I remembered that the Executive Lounge I had the right to visit offered evening snacks, but I was getting a bit lightheaded and couldn't find it. I eventually got a halloumi pita from the kebab van and ate it in the queueue. (And apologies to the hotel staff -- I did try to clean up the mess as I went.)
The Maskerade was brilliant. The winner (a Jenny Greenteeth who sang a vicious pastiche of "Part of Your World") was well-deserved but all of them were fantastic. Unfortunately, I didn't take photos during the event because years ago I had a phone (or possible an actual camera) where the flash kept resetting when I switched it off for this stuff, and I've tended to paranoia about this ever since. And I didn't take photos after the event because I'd gone from lightheaded to positively loopy, so I headed back to my room and collapsed. So, as usual apologies to everyone I didn't see at the Hedgehog Party. One of these times I'll pace myself properly for it!
So you'd think that, having gone a bit weird from not enough food and too much walking, I slept in, had another big breakfast, and didn't exert myself too much. Oh, no. I had another Plan. And this one involved geting up early, and having orange juice and toast because anything more would give me indigestion when I did even more walking. This Plan was threefold 1) Discover if it's possible to walk around the NEC and thereby avoid having to open all your cases at Checkpoint Charlie. 2) Use my anytime return to go to Worlds Apart, a short distance from New Street station, and get a single back. 3) Be back in time for the Ankh-Morpork Mappe talk at 11:00. Results were ... mixed.
The answer to the first question turned out to be "Yes, but don't." It took ages and took me through several loading bays and other areas where I felt like I was trespassing even if I wasn't, and at least one where I'm almost certain I was. I was still walking when I got a notification that the Mappe talk was cancelled, and then another one that it was rescheduled for the afternoon,which I was fairly sure I'd be back for at this point. But eventually I managed to reach the station, and I got to New Street around 10:30, having completely burned off my early start with this nonsense. And then I walked to Worlds Apart.
Look, I'm not a complete idiot. I didn't set out on this quest without checking they were open on Sundays. What I hadn't checked was when they were open on Sundays. I ended up wandering around the Bullring for half an hour - the map showed a Foyles but I never found it. Then again, I had enough trouble finding the New Street exit, which was the same way I came in. But I got to Worlds Apart eventually and I bought some comics and I managed to get back to the hotel, yay!
I missed the charity auction, which was a shame, but probably just as well in some ways (did I mention I'd ended up paying for a King Room?) I did make it to the Mapp event, which was very interesting, even if the venue (the only event I went to in that room) gave me a keen insight into what the people who'd arrived on Thursday had experienced before the AC was fixed.
I also made it to The Correct Order to Read Discworld, which was supposed to be a panel but turned out to just be Diane Duane and Peter Morwood, who did a great job of running it just by themselves (the answer was "Whatever way makes sense for you, personally"); the Ian Stewart lecture, always one of my not-to-miss events, which was about infintesimals, tying into the theme on the basis that "you can't get wee-er than that", and by giving various eminent historical mathematicians speech bubbles saying "Crivvens!" and other Feeglisms; and the Stephen Briggs talk, where he discussed how he got involved in Discworld am-dram, the books he still hadn't adapted, and why not.
At some point during all that it registered that I hadn't had lunch, and probably wasn't going to.
I did have dinner, getting a pizza at the lobby bar (and claiming a table in advance this time!) and then I wandered over to the Feegle Cèilidh, which was this year's term for "the slightly chaotic thing that's happening to entertain everyone who isn't at the Gala Dinner". There was an actual cèilidh band, in costume as Feegles and witches, and they had clearly had a lot of fun Discifying their tunes, including Igor's Polka, the Iron Girder, and concluding with the Gay Gonnagles, to a tune that combined Steeleye's "Wee Free Men" with "Mairi's Wedding". I didn't join the dancing but did manage to Do A Socialisation again. The Feegle Highland Games that followed, including the Sheep Putt, Throwing the Kebab, and so on, also looked fun, but I needed sleep.
Woke, did all my packing, had breakfast (Weetabix and then veggie sausage and eggs and hash browns and stuff this time!) and went to the Opera Gala, which was fantastic. Multiple Discworld pastiches of various arias, some of which even I recognised. Then I went to a talk about how to build a fantasy world, which was fascinating, and had another sandwich for lunch before the Unseen University Challenge Final. The final was very close; if it wasn't the one that had a tiebreaker, it definitely came down to a five or ten point difference, and was followed by the winners playing the Committee, which wasn't that close; the champions remained undefeated.
The closing ceremony was good; the prize-giving occurred, there was a final cheer for all the Committee, the Chair was horrified to discover she was expected to do this again next time, and so on. I then went and collected my bags from the bag storage area, explaining that I had put my ticket in the little folder with my keycard for safekeeping, and then almost immediately forgotten I'd done that and dropped it in the self-checkout. They were very nice about it.
Walked through the NEC, which after all that fuss yesterday didn't even have anyone on checkpoint duty now that the quilters had gone home, arrived at the station and suddenly realised that, in my concern not to be late for my train, I was well over an hour early for it. Okay, fine, I can get something to eat. Sandwich from Subway, decaf caramel frappe from Starbucks, settle down with my book for a bit. With less than half an hour to go, I checked what platform I should be at, and suddenly realised that, since my ticket said New Street (remember that?) the time on it was wrong. Probably about ten minutes wrong, but I wasn't sure. I managed to ask someone, and got that all sorted, and did in fact, make it to the train.
For some reason, when I was planning, I thought 20 minutes between the trains would be more than enough time to make it from one end of Euston to the other before the Caledonian Sleeper expected everyone to be berthed. It was barely enough, especially after I ran the length of the train to reach the seated coaches. My seat seemed to be occupied by one of a group of people speaking German, but I just assumed that they'd booked the single seat opposite and then realised they weren't seated together, so I claimed that one. The ticket inspector asked me if we'd swapped seats, and I agreed we had without mentioning we hadn't actually discussed it in any way.
And that was basically it, apart from realising at around midnight that a Subway sandwich at 6pm was not going to keep me going all night, and I couldn't sleep if I was hungry, so I rang for a pizza and a hot chocolate. A great weekend, all in all, but I really need to keep better track of meals, and stop inventing reasons to exhaust myself unnecessarily.